The world is probably not going to any end time soon because today Disney announced release dates for upcoming films well into 2021. What’s that you say? The two are unrelated? The world could end at any moment? This nonsense.
In the absence of any hard evidence about whether we’re actually going to make it, I’ve decided to use film release calendars as my tea leaves. It has worked pretty well thus far. Plus, these leaves feature celebrities. I highly recommend this.
All you have to do is believe that the world won’t end until everything is totally boring and we’ve all seen every movie that’s ever been announced, including the culmination of the Fast & Furious series. And we all know that they will not actually ever stop making Fast & Furious movies.
At a certain point, they will just use CGI versions of Ludacris and The Rock and set it on the moon and keep printing money. Quickly and very angrily. Like, your children’s children will not see the last Fast & Furious movie. It’s almost Biblical—Fast & Furious begat 2 Fast 2 Furious who begat Shem who begat Rachel, etc.